Least Favorite Red Sox

While we continue to cheer the local ballclub as the season nears its end, there have been several players over the years that I just could not get behind. Yes, it’s true (as Jerry Seinfeld said) that we’re basically just cheering for clothes, but some guys are just not the type of person you want to root for, even if they’re wearing a Red Sox uniform. Here are some of my least favorite Sox…

John Lackey
Definitely not the worst guy of the list, but I couldn’t stand seeing his mouth-breathing face when he was an Angel; seeing it in Fenway isn’t any better. Signing a huge contract but pitching like a number-four starter isn’t winning me (or many other Sox fans) over. The best thing Lackey has going for him: (a) there’s still time to redeem himself, and (b) he’s not A.J. Burnett.

Shea Hillenbrand
Google’s suggestions for Shea Hillenbrand searches are “shea hillenbrand stats”, then “shea hillenbrand clubhouse cancer”, so it’s probably not just fans who dislike him. Something about him always rubbed me the wrong way, and his homophobic remarks when he was traded didn’t endear him to me.

Jeremy Giambi
Related to Jason Giambi, tested positive for steroids, and sucked as a DH. The only good thing is his bad hitting ended up getting David Ortiz his job.

Ugueth Urbina
Again, another guy who seemed “off” to me. He’s now in a Venezuelan prison for attempted murder, so there’s that.

Ramiro Mendoza
Mendoza is the only member of 2004 team on this list. He wasn’t a terrible player, but I think he just had too much “Yankee stink” still on him to truly root for him.

Eric Gagne
The steroid-powered ex-closer was supposed to be a sure-thing stopper. He was gasoline on a fire in almost every appearance. And he got a World Series ring for it.

Julio Lugo
So many reasons not to like him, from actual — he wasn’t a very good shortstop (especially after seeing what Alex Gonzalez could do on the field) or hitter — to petty (I hated how he touched his shoulder when he was at bat).

Jose Offerman
Bad in the field (“E-4 man”), wasn’t the hitter he was supposed to be (“0-4 man”). And apparently had anger issues, as he later assaulted a pitcher and an umpire (separate incidents).

Carl Everett
Angry, crazy, anti-science, anti-gay, arrested for assault, held a gun to his wife’s head. Just not a nice guy. The only good thing I can say about him: he broke up Mike Mussina’s perfect game with two outs in the ninth inning.

Darren Lewis
Probably unfair to include him on this list, but his annoying at-bat habit of always twitching his mouth bugged the heck out of me.

Jose Canseco
No explanation needed.